Where you are in your life vs. where you thought you would be at this point
At the moment, I live alone in my condominium, have recently broken up with a guy I thought was “the one”, currently mending a shattered heart, jobless by choice since I decided to take a brief break from nursing, have full-time writing, planning and actually doing traveling to domestic places I love to visit, was able to commit going to the gym even though I would see that ex boyfriend, been catching up with friends, constantly reminding my parents I love them, reading lots of books, was able to watch missed TV series, I am trying to learn how to dance or just dance in my condo in my PJs.
Vs. Where I thought I would be at this point;
In my utmost honesty, I thought that at this time I would be married and perhaps, with God’s grace would be expecting a little bundle of joy and own a dog or two. Have a stable job that I actually want, working on a book I have been dying to do for years, living in a loft with my husband, planning family trips, and was able to learn how to be a great cook and have established a better blog.
Even though I am not exactly where I thought I’d be at this time, I am glad that I am where I am right now. Because it only meant that I am living my life, getting stronger every single day so I can prepare myself better for the future I have been dreaming.
I am fully aware that I am unmarried, and childless and doesn’t even have a real job at this time. I am also aware that each day I am getting older and in less than three months I would be turning twenty-eight. I am aware that my biological clock is ticking so loud I can hear it pounding against my ears. I am aware that I am not following the timetable of my parents, or my cousins, or my friends.
But instead of feeling sorry, and messed up and damaged, I am savoring the freedom, the bountiful of blessings, the infinite possibilities that the universe has to offer at this stage of my life. Being where I am right now opened doors to an absurd, magical and exhilarating beauty of uncertainty.
I have full trust in God’s timing and I believe that He knows when the time is right for me not only with settling down but in every aspect of my life. I believe that God knows when I am ready to take a new responsibility, a new chapter in my own story. I am learning, I am growing, and (even with a crippled heart) I am happy and that at this point is what matters the most.