Sound off on the quote “Every woman has the exact love life she wants”
For hours I have been thinking about what to write with that quote. Is it really possible that I chose to be single at this moment in my life and that it just didn’t happen to me? And my answer is YES.
I recently came from a relationship that lead to nowhere – all those times of not only happiness but full of painful and exhausting and earth shattering occasions as well. I haven’t fully moved on from him because I know that deep in my heart I still do love him but I cannot be in a relationship with him – perhaps not at this time. Because even though I love him, I also love myself and being or forcing myself into such relationship is a huge blow to my dignity and self-esteem which I have placed a higher value on.
So I could honestly say that I CHOSE to be single and I am loving every minute of it. Yes, I gave myself time to grieve and mourn a loss of someone I truly love but it wasn’t that bad at all and to prove that…
I like my life right now. No drama, no arguments and disagreements. I like how I spend my time. I can stay up late at night, sleep whenever I feel doing and wake up the next day at any time I want. I like my own alarm clock setting and I can hit the snooze button if I feel still sleepy. I like the peaceful and quiet habitat. I like that I have a whole bed to myself and I can do any sleeping positions across my bed without having to worry if someone isn’t having enough space or that I can use the empty side of my bed for my books or my laptop.
I like that I have full control of the temperature of any room in the house especially in the room. I like that I do not have to listen to someone snoring as I sleep (this especially). I like that if I wake up at the middle of the night and want to eat chips in bed, I can and wouldn’t wake up anyone in the process of doing so. I like that I can take a bath for as long as I want without anyone knocking on the door hurrying me to finish. I like that my USB connected to my TV is filled with reruns of How I Met Your Mother, The Flash, 2 Broke Girls, How To Get Away With Murder and Scandal rather than basketball or movies someone else likes.
I like that my closet is filled with my clothes and shoes and nothing in there is owned by another person. I like that the only clothes I launder is mine alone.
I like that I don’t have to wait up for anyone at home. I like that I can eat pizza for breakfast and oatmeal for dinner and I can switch them up if I feel like it. I like that I am not obligated to cook meals for breakfast and dinner for anyone and I can just order take out or that I can skip a meal if I feel too lazy.
I like having my own vacation time. I like being able to act on impulse and go somewhere I want to be at without having to inform anyone nor ask permission to. I like that I am only thinking and planning for one. I like that my cupboard is filled with the foods that I like. I like that my whole couch is reserved only for me.
I like that I can spend time at the balcony, sipping coffee at night gazing at the stars and the moon. I like that I can talk to God for hours without anyone constantly asking me what I was thinking. I like that God is the only entity I consult with major decisions in my life (and even minor ones). I like that I can spend time with my friends without someone keeping tabs on me.
Maybe someday all these will change. Perhaps one day I don’t want to be single anymore and that I want to be in love again and perhaps singleness wouldn’t want me anymore but for the time being, at this moment, I want it and I am choosing it.
So I believe that I chose my life and it did not choose me.