The biggest misconception you think people have about single life…
There are several misconceptions that people has with the single women but I think there is one delusion people mostly think about having the single life and that is, it is lonely being alone and I believe otherwise.
The boy (yes I am calling him that) who recently broke my heart, while we were dating, he asked me what I usually do for fun and I said I travel. He asked with who and I replied that sometimes with family or friends and often alone. He said that it must be lonesome and I said not really; alone but not lonely. I told him that I do a lot of things unaccompanied because it is satisfying and I find pleasure allocating time to be with myself. He also thinks that just because I am too happy on my own because I am celebrating my independence, that my life isn’t really happy.
There is another instance when choosing to be solo is sad. When my mom asked my cousin if she could let me join their little group going to Boracay in the Philippines because she thinks I am lonely just because I chose to spend time for myself exploring Davao City, Philippines and indulging in the alluring beauty of Samal Island by myself even if I have cousins in that city…
You see, when you get comfortable with YOUR OWN SKIN, spending time alone is very empowering and will never necessarily mean that you are lonely. There are women who chose to be single rather than be with the wrong person or be at a dead-end and excruciating and destructive relationship. Who would want that?
Some people thinks that when you are past a certain age and still single, there is something terribly wrong with you. Does it really have to mean that just because a woman is unattached and unmarried that something is wrong with her?
In my heart of hearts, I believe that each and every single one of us; single and married or even in a relationship are tragically flawed in our own unique ways. So having a woman question her very worth and value and character just because she is single is very erroneous, shameful and damaging. So why can’t we let the single women be and let the married people be. We are all free to do and experience our own unique pursuit of happiness both in life and love. Perhaps for you it is three kids and a residence in an exclusive village and maybe for me it is three dogs and a condominium unit in the city. This doesn’t make you right and me wrong or more importantly you being better and me being worse. This only means that we are different.
And being different is fine. Actually, being distinct is freeing and empowering. It is time for us – single women to be proud of the choice we made and that is to be single until we are settled and content in our own skin and are ready to invite “the one” into our lives. When I was a kid I always tell my mom that whenever she buys me a Barbie doll that she also needs to buy me a Ken doll because I used to believe that the Ken doll will build her a house and buy her a car. That time, that generation has passed. Isn’t it time for the single women to step out and shine on their own and to build the life that she really wants and dreams for herself and only then decide if she desires to invite her very own Ken to join her in it?
I chose to be single rather than force myself to someone or something that is NOT MEANT for me. I am taking this time to celebrate my singleness the way I aspire to without being sorry and ashamed for it.