The Unknown

It has been a year or so since the first time I saw him and felt attracted towards him only to ruin it in a week. Yes. It was that fast.

He was so good to be true only that when I get to speak with him and have that conversation that what I thought was not all true nor was he actually good to be true. We have different beliefs and can’t see eye to eye. And that happened in just one week.

All I thought about this person for a year slapped me within that seven days and damn it wasn’t even a good slap.

A dream guy, an ideal one or so I thought. He was a nightmare.

When we first exchange messages (finally), he was fun and intelligent and curious and all the good stuff but as days passed by it all flew to some unknown place and I was left thinking and hoping he’d come back but he didn’t and it only got worse as days passed us by until I finally decided to let it go. He is self-centered which something I could never be with.

In reality I am sad that I am choosing to let go but then when I silence myself and to try to hear my self, that gut feeling, I know I made the right choice. Why would I spend time with someone who doesn’t care what I feel?

Someone who would keep disagreeing with what I believe?
Someone who would make me feel bad about myself?
Someone who don’t care about or for me?

This isn’t something I should be sad about even if I actually am because I was rescued from someone who doesn’t belong in my life. And that person who rescued me for this senseless shit is no one else but myself.

One thing I know which applies in this situation is that you can NEVER force anyone to be with you – in all their glory and not to sabotage you with negative feelings nor to make you feel bad about yourself.

I honestly want to say that I am mature enough for this but it isn’t about maturity, it is about having enough love for yourself that you will never stoop down such level wherein you are not accepted and more importantly respected.

He was good to be true but I can never let myself be pulled down to a point where I will agree with him all the time even my inner goddess disagrees.

No. I am placing myself; self-worth and self-dignity above anything else including him.

A Wandering Princess

Handled – To be

Have you ever asked someone this dreaded question…

“Do you want to separate?”

I did.

I asked because I do not want to let go but there isn’t much to hold on to.

Let alone if either of you are willing to fight for what is left between the two of you.

But I care for what the other person thinks and feel. I am not some superwoman and I know I cannot make that person happy always as much as I want to.

I am only a human being, and just like everyone else, I also make mistakes.

We both did.

I still want to be on the other end of the line… I do.

But, I am tired.

I am tired of having an argument

I am tired of reminding that I care

And I don’t want to cry again after this.

This was the second chance…. isn’t it supposed to be sweeter?

A Wandering Princess

Let Her Go

A full moon glows above their heads.
Strolling the woods, with hands intertwined.

On and off, like a switch of a light,
a relationship that is doomed from the start.

Yet, both keep on coming back.

Was it worth it?

The clock on his watch striked at 3:00
The same number of times they got back together.

She still asks herself,

Was it worth it?

What difference would it make this time?

And in a flick of an eye, she saw….

He changed for the better…. she guessed.

More phone and video calls, and he was insisting on it instead of her asking for it.

Still, the same question floats her mind…

Is it worth it?

A Wandering Princess