Few years ago I knew that I want to write – whether it is about me or about someone else or even a topic I am interested in. I started writing poems when I was still in high school and every time I get a poem done I would have it checked by my English teacher. She would often leave side notes and corrections on my writing which helped me as I wrote more poems until I stopped. I didn’t even realized that I have fully stepped on the break of writing until this very moment. One of the most fulfilling note she left on a poem I wrote was “This really came from the heart” – and I couldn’t agree more. Every word I have written, every idea and emotion I have poured into writing did came from my heart. I love to write; whether it is about a boy who had me at hello to a day where everything seemed wrong to just about anything I feel like writing.
College came. That is why I probably stopped writing. I was enrolled in a university wherein one has to meet a certain grade else he/she will be on honors for dismissal. I am not the studious type of student. I am more of the laid back one – this exists because I exist. I am never the one cramming nights before an exam, rather, I am the one cramming the night before the exams. Now I can honestly and sadly tell that I never have written anything while I was in college nor the first five years after graduating because I had to work. Being a nurse is a tough job; a fact that almost everyone will agree and while I was working I also took the Master’s Degree program which I successfully graduated from last 2014. With everything that was going on for the past nine years I did not write anything at all and those nine years even with five years of nursing experience and a master’s degree under my belt, it still is a shame that I stopped writing.
I fulfilled every single dream that I have; earn a bachelor’s degree in nursing, work in a psychiatric institution, earn my master’s degree in nursing and work in an internal medicine ward. As I look deeper within myself I know there are still aspirations I have yet to achieve and one of which is to be a writer or at least to be able to write just about anything that matters to me. Those nine years, are years that have passed me by and although I have had the greatest achievements any parents will be proud of, I still could not believe that somehow inside me tells me that I should have done something – anything to write because I do believe that if you really want something, you will do anything to get that, to do that.
As I pound on my keyboard I know those nine years are done and I can never nor want to turn back time (it is difficult to work while trying to earn a master’s degree) and so now, I am fully committing myself, pouring every ounce of passion that I have into writing. It is not too late for me because no matter what age you are if it something that you know you want to do and will make you happy and feel fulfilled then no time is too late. One just have to take one step forward. I cannot regret what I have done because it is what I wanted. One goal, one ambition, one destination at a time. But it is never too late for me and for anyone else who are at the verge of chasing a dream.
I did not take any writing course while I was studying except for thesis writing which is a requirement in my post-graduate studies. To be honest, it is hard but it is a challenge for me. Nowadays, I have been inquiring in different schools which offers short courses in writing. I am even considering taking a trip to Athens to enroll myself in a summer class for intense writing course which is offered by the British Council in Greece. I have been reading books that will guide me to write correctly and creatively. It is not easy especially if it feels like I am back in primary school studying adjectives, adverbs, punctuations among other things but I am extremely certain that this will be an accomplishment in my life. Another strike through in my bucketlist.
One of the struggles I am facing relatively everyday is a blank page which I am positively sure that most writers are facing. But like one book that enlightened me with this fear is that a blank page is no empty space because it is waiting to be filled with magic; your own words, your thoughts, your phrases and your sentences and more importantly, it is waiting to be filled with your own imagination. And so whenever I see a blank page, I don’t feel any fear as much as I have had before because I do believe that a blank space is a space for me to write. A space exclusively reserved for me. Every piece you write becomes a part in your writing life, like what the White Rabbit said in Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll, “Begin at the beginning and go on till you come to the end”.